Published On: Wed, Sep 7th, 2011

Putin’s Job Program

Obama may or may not have a plan to put people to work.  In Russia, Putin has a plan.  At least one guy has found his dream job.

In another example of the weird sexual overtones of Putin’s campaign to recapture the Russian presidency, one man is proud to say that he has sacrificed all and touched 1,000 women’s breasts for Vladamir.

No one really seems to know how this works, but after all the heavy lifting, the hard working campaign worker got to meet Prime Minister Putin and shake his hand, thereby passing the breast touching experience onto him, or something like that.

In an interview, breast man Sam Nickel has explained it wasn’t as easy as it looked:

The touching itself – it is certainly nice, but you imagine that 1,000 girls – it’s only about 15-20% of the girls we interviewed. The remaining 5000-7000 girls did not agree. And each asks several questions. Each must be explained. In general, we spent a lot of time and nerves. This was terribly tiring. We burned on the summer sun; we were on feet 8 hours a day. It was the tedious work with breasts, their owners and friends of the owner of the breasts. I saw the breasts in my dreams at night and the dreams came true at daylight. But certainly I didn’t become a gay. I still love breasts.

We don’t know if Obama would endorse this new type of “Social Networking”, but rumors have it that Bill Clinton is thinking of standing for office in the former Soviet Union as soon as he can get Hillary to sign his passport.

About the Author

- We made the journey from hard left to serious right a long time ago, but still have a laissez faire attitude and a finely tuned sense of the ridiculous.