Published On: Wed, Oct 5th, 2011

Did Woody Allen write the Script for the Occupy Wall Street Demonstrations?

So we were channel surfing last night and watching the big Occupy Wall Street demo on TV while we flipped back and forth between the news and the Classic Movie channel.  Once again, we were faced with the eternal question: “Does art imitate life or does life imitate art?”  Hard to say.

Here are a few of the demands from the Wall Street demo, sprinkled in with statements and dialog from from the 1971 Woody Allen movie, Bananas.  The first person to correctly identify which are the true demands and which are lines from the movie will win two all expense paid nights in a slightly used refrigerator box in lovely Zuccotti Park.

“The weather this afternoon is perfect and, if you’ve just joined us, we’ve seen a series of colourful riots. All around, there are colorful flags and hats.”

Here are the demands:

  • Free college education.
  • From this day on, the official language will be Swedish.
  • Guaranteed living wage income regardless of employment.
  • Free college education.
  • All citizens will be required to change their underwear every half hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check.
  • One trillion dollars in infrastructure (Water, Sewer, Rail, Roads and Bridges and Electrical Grid) spending now.
  • One trillion dollars in ecological restoration planting forests, reestablishing wetlands and the natural flow of river systems and decommissioning of all of America’s nuclear power plants.
  • All children under 16 years old are now 16 years old.
  • Racial and gender equal rights amendment.
  • Open borders migration. anyone can travel anywhere to work and live.
  • immediate across the board debt forgiveness for all. Debt forgiveness of sovereign debt, commercial loans, home mortgages, home equity loans, credit card debt, student loans and personal loans now! All debt must be stricken from the “Books.” World Bank Loans to all Nations, Bank to Bank Debt and all Bonds and Margin Call Debt in the stock market including all Derivatives or Credit Default Swaps, all 65 trillion dollars of them must also be stricken from the “Books.” And I don’t mean debt that is in default, I mean all debt on the entire planet period.
  • Outlaw all credit reporting agencies.
For your own protection, don’t share this with anyone attending the demonstration.  They are notorious for having no sense of humor.

A previous contest winner enjoying his accomodations at the park

About the Author

- We made the journey from hard left to serious right a long time ago, but still have a laissez faire attitude and a finely tuned sense of the ridiculous.