Published On: Sat, Dec 17th, 2011

Dangerous 10 Year Old Disciplined for Brandishing Piece of Pizza Shaped like a Gun

America’s schools fail repeatedly at their assigned job of teaching our children, but boy, they sure are vigilant about protecting us all from imaginary threats and dangers.

Nicholas Taylor, a 1o year old student at the David Youree Elementary School in Smyrna Tennessee near Nashville, found himself in big trouble last week when he bit into his piece of pizza and made it resemble a handgun. This insensitive action was made worse when he “allegedly” waved it around and pretended to shoot it into the air.

Vigilant school personnel witnessed the offense and took swift and sure action. In the elementary school version of solitary, Taylor will be required to eat at the “silent” lunch table for the remainder of the semester, and has also spent time with the school resource officer learning about gun safety.

A spokesperson for the Rutherford County School District, James Evans said the boy was not punished because he had a piece of pizza shaped like a gun.

Instead, the punishment was doled out because “some students reported he was making some threatening hand gestures, that he was shooting other kids at the table and they reported it to a teacher,” Evans said.

“The student didn’t tell him the truth about it so he got silent lunch for six days.”

“I realize some might say we are going overboard but the principal is just trying to use an abundance of caution and send the message that we don’t play about guns and it’s not something we joke around about,” Evans explained.

The boy’s mother said her son already knows not to play with guns.

“We don’t have a gun in the house. He plays with light sabers. He’s a big Star Wars fan.”

Principal Steve Luker, the asshat who imposed the punishment on Nicholas Taylor

Principal Steve Luker, the asshat who imposed the punishment on Nicholas Taylor

Taylor also said that the school system has taken the position that if her son eats his pizza into the shape of a gun again or there is any similar trouble, he will be suspended.

About the Author

- We made the journey from hard left to serious right a long time ago, but still have a laissez faire attitude and a finely tuned sense of the ridiculous.