Published On: Thu, Sep 29th, 2011

U.S. Hikers too Sexy for Iran

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So we know that there are no gay people in Iran: that little asshat, President Ahmadinejad himself told us so when he appeared before Columbia University students in September 2007. Now there are suggestions that there may be no sex of any kind in that medieval hellhole.

Earlier this month Iran released Shane Bauer and Josh Fattal, the last two of the three hikers that had been imprisoned for two years after they allegedly crossed the border from Iraq into Iran while on a week long vacation. Although Sarah Shourd was released on bail in 2010 for “humanitarian” reasons after being imprisoned for a year, in August Bauer and Fattal were each convicted of “illegal entry” and “espionage” and each was sentenced to a total of eight years in prison. The release of Bauer and Fattal was the result of a cash payment of close to $1 million and came on the eve of notoriously shabbily dressed Ahmadinejad’s address Thursday to the U.N. General Assembly.

The three are all graduates of the University of California at Berkeley, a well known CIA recruiting center. Bauer is also a journalist who has worked with the Pacifica News Service and the magazines Mother Jones and The Nation, both widely regarded to be CIA fronts.

When Bauer and Fattal finally arrived back in the United States, they appeared at a press conference with Ms. Shourd, captured in this photo from AP:

Clearly, this risque photograph crosses the line of good taste and decorum.  When the Iranian website Mashreghnews covered the story, they had no choice but to edit the picture to make up for Shroud’s shocking dress and brazen  behavior by blurring out her breasts and arms.

Equally offensive were the photos of Ms. Shourd and her fiance Bauer kissing after his arrival in Oman hours after his release from the Iranian prison:

With the Iranian discomfort about sexuality of any kind, we can only assume that the poor people of Iran only procreate by means of spontaneous combustion.

About the Author

- We made the journey from hard left to serious right a long time ago, but still have a laissez faire attitude and a finely tuned sense of the ridiculous.